Friday, February 03, 2012

Between acceptance and improvement

A friend posted on facebook: "if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" I invented a reply: "if you let a fish be a fish, he will never become a lion!"

Both statements are relevant for stuttering. I receive many emails from readers asking for advice, and I am drawn between both statements.

People who stutter have clearly a neuroanatomical weakness in the brain that makes us stutter. Nature did not gave us the ability of effortless speaking. Yet, we want to climb that tree, and feel frustrated, inferior, unfairly treated, and angry. Why should we react in such a way when we are not at fault! We should not judge ourselves with those who have "normal" brains.

However, acceptance is very close to resignation, and might prevent you from achieving your potential. I very strongly believe that the majority of the negative psychosocial reaction to stuttering is due to our interpretation of life, and not due to the stuttered speech. Our abnormal brain region does make us fear, doesn't make us be embarrassed, and doesn't prevent us from speaking up. We learned that as children as a natural reaction. We must strive to be a lion even if it's unachievable. Only then can we improve.

So a clear advice is that you should work on reducing your psychosocial reaction and accept that you are a fish. I can clearly say that my handicap now at 38 is far less than at 18 even though I still stutter (and probably not less).


Sujay said...

useful information on
Between acceptance and improvement
thanks for sharing

Surgical Hospital

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Excuse Me.

But i think stutterers have superiority complex. They always feel if they were fluent they would have been smarter and more popular than non-stutters.

Also a stutterer is the only one who can understand the power of speech and what it can do to enrich our lives. Just like the blind understand what it means to have eyes and if they had eyes they would travel the world and see all the wonderful sights it has to offer.

Just like we take eyes for granted, non stutters take speech for granted.

I have a superiority complex for sure but im also very considerate and caring towards others. I do not know about others.

Do you have an inferiority complex, Tom?

Let me know.

Mazen said...

You're excused, given your psychological complexes. Are you sure you have just one?